Guns: What are They Good for?
Guns are well known as the go-to device for personal defense. They ensure the operator’s safety in a conflict situation due to their ability to project high-velocity lumps of metal great distances. Many people collect these devices in great number; a recent study showed that 10% of Californians owned a gun, and of these gun owners, 32% owned 10 or more guns. So, 3.2% of Californians own ten or more guns. Sadly, most gun users are only able to operate two (2) guns at a time.
It has been said that guns are a durable commodity; they are not like the inexpensive inkjet printer you bought last week at Office Max for $65 that will break in less than a year because of a broken spring or small plastic lever. Planned obsolescence is all but impossible for gun manufacturers to engineer into commercial gun design because guns which break either don’t work and may get the gun owner killed with return fire or could even explode and also kill the gun owner. Imagine if your cheap inkjet printer could explode and kill you!
The end result is that because guns never break or decay, gun manufacturers have to sell ever-greater numbers of guns to build their market. Either they have to get non-gun owners to buy them or they have to get existing gun owners to buy more of them.
However, there is another way for gun manufacturers to grow their market. Guns are useful for other things other than personal defense! How? Think of the popular adage, “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”. I know you are thinking “if all you have is a gun, everything looks like a target”, but that is not at all where I am going with this.
Guns have many other uses; just like you can use a kitchen
funnel as a trumpet, to draw a circle with, or as a cup with the finger over
the old. Guns, when held tightly by the
barrel, can be used as hammers to pound nails into wood. Gun makers could even design special
nail-based ammunition as well; you could fire your gun at a block of wood and
imbed the nail into that wood, just like the air nailing guns builders
use.
Also, those of us who lived (as an extremely young child) through the late 1960s know that guns and rifles can hold flowers and would be a stylish addition to any living room. Additional stands would be accessories sold separately and would be an extra profit center for gun makers.
Gun could also be useful in the kitchen too. Just like the hammer usage, they would be great meat tenderizers. CO2 cartridges in the barrel could be used to aerate liquids and would be a quick way for mom and dad to make sodas for the kids.
It is often said that guns are not toys; however, they could be used that way. Have you ever seen a Western and seen a gun slinger twirl his gun by holding his finger in the trigger guard? Guns could be used as modern-day fidget spinners. If you’ve ever played the game of horseshoes with grandpa, you’ll know that horseshoes once were useful devices that were required to protect the feet of horses. With guns, the game of horseshoes takes “fun” to a whole new level! Guns could be flung by the barrel toward the pole. The adage “close enough is good enough only for horseshoes and hand grenades” would have to be modified for this new game which I would call “Gun Flinger!” Close enough is NOT good enough for a gun when used for personal defense, but it would get you points in the game of “Gun Flinger!”
Guns could also be useful holders for other hand-held implements for those with limited hand mobility. Pistol-grip implements have long been popular. Why buy a pistol grip paintbrush when you already have a gun? Simply cram that paint brush, or toothbrush, or toilet brush, or lawn rake into the gun barrel, and your hand pain will be gone.
One other gun feature that should be added to new models is Wifi connectivity and a smartphone app to track your gun usage, and to give you regular statistics on your gun usage such as number of shots fired, marksmanship accuracy, or the popular “Find My Gun!” feature. Such apps would also automatically keep score for your games of “Gun Flinger!”. This feature would also automatically make obsolete every gun ever sold, such as that old carbine your great-great grandpappy kept in the Battle of Bull Run.
Also, those of us who lived (as an extremely young child) through the late 1960s know that guns and rifles can hold flowers and would be a stylish addition to any living room. Additional stands would be accessories sold separately and would be an extra profit center for gun makers.
Gun could also be useful in the kitchen too. Just like the hammer usage, they would be great meat tenderizers. CO2 cartridges in the barrel could be used to aerate liquids and would be a quick way for mom and dad to make sodas for the kids.
It is often said that guns are not toys; however, they could be used that way. Have you ever seen a Western and seen a gun slinger twirl his gun by holding his finger in the trigger guard? Guns could be used as modern-day fidget spinners. If you’ve ever played the game of horseshoes with grandpa, you’ll know that horseshoes once were useful devices that were required to protect the feet of horses. With guns, the game of horseshoes takes “fun” to a whole new level! Guns could be flung by the barrel toward the pole. The adage “close enough is good enough only for horseshoes and hand grenades” would have to be modified for this new game which I would call “Gun Flinger!” Close enough is NOT good enough for a gun when used for personal defense, but it would get you points in the game of “Gun Flinger!”
Guns could also be useful holders for other hand-held implements for those with limited hand mobility. Pistol-grip implements have long been popular. Why buy a pistol grip paintbrush when you already have a gun? Simply cram that paint brush, or toothbrush, or toilet brush, or lawn rake into the gun barrel, and your hand pain will be gone.
One other gun feature that should be added to new models is Wifi connectivity and a smartphone app to track your gun usage, and to give you regular statistics on your gun usage such as number of shots fired, marksmanship accuracy, or the popular “Find My Gun!” feature. Such apps would also automatically keep score for your games of “Gun Flinger!”. This feature would also automatically make obsolete every gun ever sold, such as that old carbine your great-great grandpappy kept in the Battle of Bull Run.
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